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\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n
“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.”<\/p>
“The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for. The damned thing in the cave that was so dreaded has become the center.”<\/p>Joseph Campbell, “A Joseph Campbell Companion,” p. 24<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m sure I got the flow seed planted after reading Richard Bach\u2019s \u201cIllusions.\u201d It was a Dot for sure (he dropped several of them in that book). I can\u2019t be sure if it was dropped just before, after, or coincided with the event of My Catalyst. <\/strong>Reading the book was easy, especially when he hooked me with the very first words, \u201cThere was a Master come unto the earth, born in the holy land of Indiana…\u201d (my home state\u2014how could I not read on!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is the part in the intro where he talks about the creatures in the river who \u201ccling\u201d as a way of life. Then one creature decides he\u2019s going to let go and see where the crystal river takes him, because, clinging he shall surely die of boredom.<\/strong> He trusts that the river knows where it is going, and so (with much fear and admonishment from his peer clingers) he let go to go with the flow of the river. A Dot dropped and I was in the \u2018let it flow, let it flow, let it flow\u201d mode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or, maybe my entire life was a part of \u2018let it flow,\u201d and I just had to recognize and name it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the age of career specialization I was a generalist. Dig deep into just one career path? No. I would try one career path, be there long enough to see behind the curtain and opt out. I was a systems analyst for Blue Cross-Blue Shield because someone recognized I was a problem solver, organized, efficient, and could manage people. An industrial psychologist who tested all BC-BS management said, \u201cYou ranked in the 94th<\/sup> Percentile of Upper Level Male Managers, BUT, you have no goals to be president of BC-BS\u201d\u2014as if that were a bad thing. He was right\u2014I certainly did not have goals of becoming president of BC-BS. I opted out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I moved to the country music industry because my husband wanted to be a songwriter. We moved to Nashville so why shouldn\u2019t I be in the music industry also? Three years with a major record label run with a mafia-management style of rewards and punishments, and I opted out again. Seeing behind the curtain is always eye-opening\u2014and a test to see just how much you\u2019re willing to pay for the pretense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I left it to fate (aka the flow) to take me to my next career, and my organizational skills took me to becoming Associate Producer (the logistics person) for a new television show. Out of the music business, and into television. One season of organizing and logistics, and I decided I could write the show, too. I did two sample scripts, and the producer who had hired me for my organizational abilities, agreed. Soon I was a writer\u2014television, print, marketing, publishing\u2014writing for anybody who would hire me to hone my skills. Just going with the flow, where the flow would take me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jump. It\u2019s Not as Wide as You Think. (Or) There Are No Pumas<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s just say \u201cwaking up\u201d sets you up with lots of questions…lots…of…questions! Try and describe that to friends and about all you\u2019ll hear is, \u201cAwake? Of course you\u2019re awake. You\u2019re talking. There\u2019s no question there.\u201d Hard to explain unless you\u2019ve been there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Questioning\u2014especially the \u201cWhy\u201d question\u2014and \u201cseeking answers\u201d is trying, anguishing work, and most times tinged with a bit o\u2019 fear (hence why it\u2019s \u201cthe road less travelled\u201d). Looking inward for answers to questions can be especially fearful because somehow we innately \u2018believe\u2019 we\u2019re hiding some sort of monster inside. (I have yet to determine where we got this\u2014unless it\u2019s the deeply ingrained \u2018original sin\u2019 that\u2019s been taught us by a loving church.) We fear if we dare peek inside, we\u2019ll let loose the monster on the world. Some sort of beast is hidden inside! We\u2019ll be out of control!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, I know this from personal experience. I have feared the monster and asked that exact question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When working with a wonderful counsellor whose name, Mrs. True, said it all, I had begun to feel good about myself\u2014getting self-esteem can do that for you. I remember specifically asking her (because I felt good), \u201cAren\u2019t you afraid you\u2019ll create a monster (meaning me)?\u201d She just laughed and reassured me, \u201cNo, I just want you to throw back that curly hair of yours and laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please believe me, I have looked: There are no monsters inside. It\u2019s ok to look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I believe that is why so many people are afraid to ask questions of themselves, to look inside. They fear they will face pumas in the crevasse. (That\u2019s an old Smothers Brothers routine\u2014Tommy Smothers was afraid of the pumas in the crevasse, and his brother had to convince him, \u201cThere are no pumas in the crevasse, Tommy\u201d\u2014for those who are wondering where that came from…or for those who may remember!) I chose to believe Dickie Smothers! (That was a Dot dropped waaaay back!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Asking questions of Life and looking inward for answers, yes, that requires facing the (phantom) pumas in the abyss (or crevasse). Joseph Campbell came through again, reassuring me with this myth:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA bit of advice
Given to a young Native American
At the time of his initiation:
As you go the way of life,
You will see a great chasm.<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\nJump.
It is not as wide as you think.\u201d<\/em>
\u2015 <\/em>Joseph Campbell<\/em><\/a><\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\nDick Smothers would add\u2026\u2019and there are NO PUMAS in the crevasse!\u2019 Those are the pumas we fear are lurking inside us if we ever look. (Who knew Dickie Smothers was a mythologist!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reassured by both Dickie Smothers and Joseph Campbell, jump I did. More asking. More seeking. More questioning. More reading. More learning. More dreams. More Dots. A whole lot of \u201cWhy me\u2019s?\u201d because answers were slow in coming. (Patience, remember?) Some bon-a-fide gnashing of teeth involved. A good friend who\u2019d listened to me gnash teeth, wail, found a poem and gave it to me as salve. It came first as \u201cAnon\u201d but, as the poem itself told me, I would \u2018live along some distant day into the answer.\u2019 I would find its true source.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I magnetized it to my refrigerator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you heard the term, Synchronicity? We\u2019ll get more detail on it later. It\u2019s a term that pops up again and again when you enter the forest on your own path. Synchronicity may feel more like a breadcrumb you find on your way, assuring you that you\u2019re on the right path home. A few years, yes, years, after receiving this Anon poem, another friend gave me a book as a birthday gift, \u201cLetters to a Young Poet\u201d by Rainer Maria Rilke. In that book was the very verse that was on my fridge:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n“<\/strong>Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nand try to love the questions themselves,<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
like locked rooms and like books <\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
that are now written in a very foreign tongue.<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not now seek the answers,<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
which cannot be given you <\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
because you would not be able to live them.<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the point is, to live everything.<\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Live the questions now.<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps you will then gradually,<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
without noticing it,<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
live along some distant day into the answer.\u201d <\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2015 Rainer Maria Rilke<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Salve for an anguished heart for sure. It was like getting a primer for learning a new language and here was my first translation. Love the questions themselves. Locked rooms. Books in a foreign tongue. Live everything.<\/em> <\/strong>Reaffirmation that I was not alone in the experience I was having. Others had gone before me and were dropping their own Dots and breadcrumbs for me to follow and be encouraged by. And somehow, they would make sure I found the ones I needed. How could I not trod on?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The original Anon paper stayed magnetized to my refrigerator for years til it had stains and curled edges. It reinforced for me that, indeed, I would \u2018live along some distant day into the answer\u201d (and answers) that I sought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Synchronicity… A Dot dropped one year connected to a Dot a few years later. Check-Check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How I Found Synchronicity Synchronistically.<\/strong><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 “It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.” “The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for. The damned thing in the cave that was so dreaded has become the center.” Joseph Campbell, “A Joseph Campbell … Continue reading “4. Clinging I Shall Die of Boredom.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":57,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[8,7,5,4],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-story","tag-big-picture","tag-flow","tag-richard-bach","tag-rilke"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":295,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions\/295"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/57"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}