{"id":310,"date":"2022-01-10T18:55:45","date_gmt":"2022-01-10T18:55:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/?p=310"},"modified":"2022-01-10T18:55:45","modified_gmt":"2022-01-10T18:55:45","slug":"23-if-youve-ever-felt-different-you-could-be-a-mistaken-zygote","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/10\/23-if-youve-ever-felt-different-you-could-be-a-mistaken-zygote\/","title":{"rendered":"23. If You\u2019ve Ever Felt Different…You Could Be A Mistaken Zygote!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Ever feel like you were dropped in the wrong house? You just aren\u2019t like the rest of your family? You seem to do and value and feel things totally differently from the rest of them? They don\u2019t get you? And because there\u2019s only one of you and several of them, you feel the outsider? You feel \u2018wrong?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve even gotten to the point of feeling totally<\/em> alien. I described it like, somehow I came here with \u2018others of my kind\u2019–a brain cloud descended\u2014they left\u2014and I got left behind, stranger in a strange land!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stories as Antidote.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve talked about stories\/myths holding clues for our survival, progress in life. Some can provide antidotes for our human foibles. Human foibles are just that\u2014our quirks, shortcomings, eccentricities, imperfections\u2014built-in to the species\u2014and which all of us<\/em>, in our evolutionary progress, have to recognize, deal with. Stories that will help us understand, accept, yea, even overcome when we feel life is unfair or we were dealt a crappy hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I discovered an antidote for \u2018feeling different\u2019 in The Mistaken Zygote story. Like a lot of good discoveries that end up helping us in the long haul, the road often starts out with a sour lemon handout of emotional distress or pain. (Post 1)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My discovery of the Mistaken Zygote story came after a rough visit \u2018home\u2019 for a family Christmas which ended in my being \u201cattacked\u201d by a loving grandma, mom, and aunt for my different religious thoughts, and worse, my questions! (It really felt like a reenactment of \u201cThe Birds\u201d flying at my face!) I remember fleeing in a rush to my car screaming and crying at the same time to my (blood) family, \u201cI don\u2019t know who you people are, but I\u2019m going home to my family.\u201d<\/em> I couldn\u2019t get my car far enough, fast enough. I noted every mile-marking city in the 300-mile drive home, \u201cok, I\u2019m here, just keep going; you\u2019re gonna be home soon.\u201d I remember to this day turning the corner to my street, feeling like I couldn\u2019t breathe deeply until I was in my own home. Sanctuary once again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Later, I was discussing the \u201cholidays\u201d with Tony, a Jungian Group friend of mine. I was lamenting about my traumatizing visit back \u2018home with family.\u2019 After a few moments of consolation, Tony quietly stated, \u201cYour story is in \u2018the book.\u2019 It\u2019s The Mistaken Zygote.\u201d  (I knew \u2018the book\u2019 was the one we\u2019d both been reading, \u201cWomen Who Run with the Wolves,\u201d<\/em> by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Ph.D. He had told me he\u2019d actually given a few copies of the book to women friends of his as Christmas gifts. Oddly enough, my copy had been given to me by a man also.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I\u2019d been reading the book, but had slacked off for my visit \u2018home\u2019 for the holidays. I had stopped just 12 pages short of the story \u201cThe Mistaken Zygote.\u201d (Page 192) I went back to the book and read it. Wow! There it was: The Reason \u201cWhy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could paraphrase the story, but I would rather let Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. tell you in her own cantadora words: (P 194)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell see, the Zygote Fairy was flying over your hometown one night, and all the little zygotes in her basket were hopping and jumping with excitement.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You were indeed destined for parents who would have understood you, but the Zygote Fairy hit turbulence and, oops, you fell out of the basket over the wrong house. You fell head over heels, head over heels, right into a family that was not meant for you. Your \u201creal\u201d family was three miles farther on.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is why you fell in love with a family that wasn\u2019t yours, and that lived three miles over. You always wished Mrs. and Mr. So-and-so were your real parents. Chances are they were meant to be.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Different Is as Different Does, and It Ain\u2019t Wrong.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There it was! Dropped into the wrong house!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt different often. For too much of my life. As a kid, you can\u2019t quite discern 1) you\u2019re different and, 2) different is wrong. What you see and live is what you think everybody sees and lives. Then you start pre-adulting and full-adulating and that\u2019s when you begin to feel pushback for \u2018not fitting\u2019 with everybody else, not thinking like everybody else. They want to slap you with a label. They can\u2019t just look at you and accept \u2018hmm, you\u2019re different.\u2019<\/em> No, they gotta have a label: Flighty. Weird. Bookworm. Nerd. Geek. L., G., B. or Non-B, T., or Q. Or other B-word. With all the intonation that says: \u201cWrong Wrong Wrong!\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what I learned from my Jungian Group. When someone hurls a label, especially a deprecating one, at you, it\u2019s for their purpose of shutting you down and shutting you up. When you\u2019re proud of an accomplishment and someone hurls \u201chubris\u201d at you, what\u2019s the natural reaction? Shutting up. In the midst of a heated discussion or argument, someone calls you a horrific name, it\u2019s for the purpose of wounding you into retreat off the battlefield! Shutting you up!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the urging of too many friends and family, I was encouraged to see my different <\/em>as being wrong. <\/em> Often, dismissed when different. M<\/em>ostly because I wasn\u2019t seeing things like they did, didn\u2019t accept things like they did, didn\u2019t conform to previously-dictated roles or norms. My experience made me relate different<\/em> to being wrong<\/em>. Honestly, it took me a few decades to discover and accept:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Different is not Wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Different is just Different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, it took me a long time of living to convince myself of it. Struggling to convince others to see different<\/em> wasn\u2019t wrong<\/em>. Struggle, I say, because too many people with \u2018slow seeing\u2019 cannot bear for different<\/em> NOT to be wrong<\/em>!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antidotes for the job.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For balance, know these things to strengthen you in your unique differentness:  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most people\u2019s attempt to convince you you\u2019re wrong is because of their own feelings of inadequacy and\/or insecurity (which they can\u2019t\/won\u2019t admit to). They have a need to convince you to be like them, think like them, do like them, because that would prove to themselves they are right.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In reality, deep in their unconscious, they are not totally convinced they are right. However, they are not aware enough to be honest with themselves, thus they repress it in the unconscious. So they must convince you your different<\/em> is wrong\u2026<\/em>that makes them right. Right? Score one! Even when they are unaware that they are keeping score.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe, when you \u2018Know Thyself,\u2019 you \u2018Know All Others.\u2019 So when you know the real motivation for their making your different <\/em>feel wrong, <\/em>you are free not to consider their label of wrong<\/em> as valid whatsoever. Null and Void.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second thing to know: The Mistaken Zygote gives meaning and raison d\u2019etre for it all, I\u2019ll let Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. tell you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo not cringe and make yourself small if you are called the black sheep, the maverick, the lone wolf. Those with slow seeing say a nonconformist is a blight on society. But it has been proven over the centuries, that being different means standing at the edge, means one is practically guaranteed to make an original contribution, a useful and stunning contribution to her culture.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To those who have felt alienated and different: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go forth and be different<\/em>, you Mistaken Zygotes of the World! We need your contribution!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

An Aside: <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D is a cantadora (storyteller) and a Jungian analyst. The book \u201cWomen Who Run with the Wolves\u201d shares stories and myths relating to a woman\u2019s passage and growth through life. Somewhere I even recall hearing, reading, seeing, or saying, \u201cEvery woman will find her story there.\u201d I did that Christmas\u2014The Mistaken Zygote. It gave succor and salve for a sore heart. Pertinent to my survival. Retained. A default for future applications. I noted the synchronicity of finding it at the exact perfect time that I needed it. If you\u2019ve been harangued with feeling \u2018different,\u2019 you\u2019ll find it is an understanding of your Self that validates you are \u2018different;’ it\u2019s okay and more than likely a good thing! I think the story is even more validated if you\u2019ve been one of the lucky ones who has found his or her own real (if not blood) family that you were intended to be with before you were plopped into the wrong family.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever feel like you were dropped in the wrong house? You just aren\u2019t like the rest of your family? You seem to do and value and feel things totally differently from the rest of them? They don\u2019t get you? And because there\u2019s only one of you and several of them, you feel the outsider? You … Continue reading “23. If You\u2019ve Ever Felt Different…You Could Be A Mistaken Zygote!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":311,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[60,71,72],"class_list":["post-310","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-lessons","tag-clarissa-pinkola-estes","tag-women-who-run-with-the-wolves","tag-zygote"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/310","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=310"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":313,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/310\/revisions\/313"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/311"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}