{"id":206,"date":"2020-12-20T16:57:01","date_gmt":"2020-12-20T16:57:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/?p=206"},"modified":"2021-08-24T21:19:52","modified_gmt":"2021-08-24T21:19:52","slug":"11-getting-to-know-me-the-shadow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/2020\/12\/20\/11-getting-to-know-me-the-shadow\/","title":{"rendered":"11. Parts ‘n Pieces \u2013 The Shadow: Why We Hate."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Scary Shadow\/Gold Shadow<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Shadow<\/strong>, yeah, that one even sounds scary, right?  It may sound, even be, a little dark, but it only appears scary until you accept it. You remember what happened when the princess deemed to face that harassing frog and kiss him? He turned into a prince. That\u2019s what happens when you face the scary Shadow in your dreams and ask what it wants from you\u2014acknowledge, recognize, welcome it\u2014give it a big fat kiss!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Shadow is represented in dreams by an intruder in our house\u2014or a dark figure, sinister feeling because it represents the part of ourselves that we \u201cdon\u2019t want to recognize,\u201d that we\u2019re unconsciously<\/em> afraid of. Our house is \u2018us,\u2019 our life, our psyche. When you have that scary intruder or monster dream, try to recognize it as some part of you that wants you to acknowledge it in your conscious life. When you refuse to acknowledge it as a part of your \u2018whole self,\u2019 it will continue to stalk and scare. Your dreams will report how the \u2018scary\u2019 changes and dissipates as you work to integrate the Shadow parts of your psyche.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Shadow\u2019s Backstory.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what\u2019s the Shadow\u2019s backstory? How\u2019d it get to be so scary?  It represents the parts of ourselves that we\u2019ve tried to ignore or repress by hiding \u2018in the dark.\u2019 It\u2019s the unconscious parts of our psyche that our conscious\/ego does not recognize in itself or (worse) refuses to recognize in itself. What you accept about yourself is \u2018conscious.\u2019 What you don\u2019t want to accept, well, that\u2019s what we hide in the \u2018Unconscious\u2019 aka The Bloody Room in ye old myths and fables.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anything in the Unconscious WANTS to be conscious.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, the object is to recognize it all, the good, the bad and the ugly as part of your entirety.  It\u2019s all gotta be recognized as a part of you to become whole\u2014that\u2019s all, just recognized and accepted. You don\u2019t have to become \u201cthe Shadow,\u201d just shine a light and say, \u2018ok, bad stuff, you\u2019re a part of me, too!\u2019 Shining a light and admitting to what you see\u2014being honest even when no one is looking\u2014is all that\u2019s required.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Containing the Opposites<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all contain the opposites of any attribute we have\u2014the good and the bad. The nurturing mother and the devouring mother. Many times we do not want to lay any claim or recognize the \u2018shadow\u2019 side of the opposite\u2014\u201cNot as a part of me, by gosh!\u201d We stick it in the Unconscious and hope to hide it in the dark. We\u2019ll just forget it\u2019s there. It now becomes the Shadow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cEverything in the Unconscious seeks outward manifestation.\u201d<\/strong><\/em> Carl Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections (MDR)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

WARNING! WARNING!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t acknowledge it on your own, that hidden shadowy part you don\u2019t want to recognize will \u2018act out.\u2019 Yep, it takes on a will of its own. IT WILL BE KNOWN! You\u2019ll be doing stuff you know you don\u2019t even want to do, but that Shadow will make you do it anyway because, by god, it wants to be recognized! You don\u2019t have the Unconscious under your control. It has you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”  Jung<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trying to keep something in the Unconscious?  It\u2019s like trying to hold a ball underwater. Ever tried that? Hard. Takes a lot of (emotional) energy. Produces a chronic tiredness that may cause you to take your tiredness out on other people.  More than likely, you\u2019ll tire out before it does and it will pop the hell up out of the water and smite you smack dab up the side of the head!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just claim as your own any of those things you think \u201chuh-uh, not me!\u201d You just have to acknowledge that both the good and the bad are contained in you, are contained in each person. And it\u2019s okay. It\u2019s what makes you whole. You have to \u2018contain\u2019 both sides of the opposites.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Projector Room of the Psyche<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What your Unconscious wants you to deal with, it will ‘project’ onto another human, to get it out there where you can at least see it! It was my Unconscious projecting my Animus onto \u2018the perfect man’ so that I could see the strong masculine traits I also contained to be able to integrate them into a whole life. Likewise why we ‘project’ those traits that we don’t want to admit we have onto others. This is why we ‘hate.’<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jung: \u201cTo the degree that you condemn others and find evil in others, you are to that degree unconscious of the same thing in yourself\u2026Or at least of the potentiality of it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why We Hate. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The aspects of our personality or psyche that we find difficult to accept about ourselves (and deny, deny, deny), we will impose or \u201cproject\u201d onto another individual (or group or sect). That\u2019s how the psyche works to get us to recognize we contain both the good and the bad. It will project the \u2018shadow\u2019 aspect that we don\u2019t want to claim for ourselves onto another person, another race, another religion, or any one not like us, referred to as \u201cThe Other.\u201d<\/em> The Other<\/em> holds all those horrible attributes that (we think) WE DON\u2019T HAVE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe Bitch Most About Those Things We Do the Worst.\u201d\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s projection. Your Unconscious\/your True Self has gotta get it out there for you to see it in yourself. No harm. No foul to admit it. Makes you whole. Makes you empathetic. Makes you stronger. I have another saying: Repression Is the Root of all Evil. Repressing that admission will only bring harm, dis-ease in your soul and psyche. I love the way Kari Hohne describes the projection of the Shadow in her blog:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJung pioneered the study of the Shadow <\/em>and referred to it as the repressed and undeveloped aspects of the personality. Jung described projection as changing \u201cthe world into the replica of one\u2019s unknown face.\u201d  <\/p> <\/em>https:\/\/cafeausoul.com\/dreams\/dreamdictionary\/Shadow<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe replica of one\u2019s unknown (repressed\/hidden) face.\u201d That face is the part of you that you don\u2019t like, can\u2019t admit to. That face is exactly the part of yourself you need to give a big fat kiss! And look at what the ‘replica of one’s unknown face’ is looking like in the world today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you hear yourself complaining and pointing a finger at a particular friend, or group, those 3 fingers pointing back at you carry a message for you.  When you can\u2019t see, admit, own, and accept that you do anything bad like all those \u2018other\u2019 people, those are the exact things you think are too horrific to admit could ever be a part of you. And you are always going to project what you can\u2019t see in yourself onto \u2018the Other.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a hard life. An angry life. A tiring life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have to shine the light on your dark side, recognize it and accept it. It requires that you own both the good and the bad of every opposite out there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the bonus round:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you recognize and accept your own failings, shortcomings, bad traits, you will no longer have to \u2018hate\u2019 them in others. You\u2019ve hated those things in others because it was easier than to hate them in yourself.  (Do you know how much energy hate takes???) You\u2019ll be more accepting. Life will seem to get a whole lot easier. Less angry. Less tiring. What you accept in you, you will no longer hate in others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know if incorporating the Shadow is easier to do for women than men. Women, since Eve, have been told we were the root of all evil in the world, even down to every thorn on every rose, according to my Baptist pastor. Perhaps it\u2019s easier for us to accept the dark side and lead it into the light. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gold Among the Dross<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the Shadow sounds like bad news, remember: we\u2019re talking about opposites, so here\u2019s the good news! The Shadow also contains all the good parts of our selves that we have ripped from us and thrown away (repressed) into what the myths call \u2018The Bloody Room.\u2019 How\u2019d those good parts of us get torn off? Bloody stumps thrown into a locked and hidden room? More than likely because someone in authority in our lives\u2014parents, church, teachers, friends, peers, and other authority figures\u2014made us feel bad about those good parts or didn\u2019t accept them, many times shaming us for them. We felt we had to get rid of them to be loved\u2026or to be accepted\u2026or to keep peace\u2026or not to show weakness\u2026or to be a part of the group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good parts among the bad-rep parts. Yup, thar\u2019s gold in that thar dross darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In myths, The Bloody Room is always locked and forbidden, but if we have the courage to look, we find gold in the dross (from the Bible also). We find outstanding attributes, traits, talents, feelings and abilities that we have hidden in The Bloody Room, the Unconscious\u2014living quarters of the Shadow.  That, in and of itself, should give us courage to look inside. Shining the light on the Shadow and accepting it into the conscious, you will also dis-cover hidden assets that came with your whole Self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anima and Animus for Everyone–Why Opposites Attract<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re new to Mesmarriah Miracle, it\u2019s best to start at Post #1 and continue in numbered sequence, like Connecting the Dots.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scary Shadow\/Gold Shadow The Shadow, yeah, that one even sounds scary, right?  It may sound, even be, a little dark, but it only appears scary until you accept it. You remember what happened when the princess deemed to face that harassing frog and kiss him? He turned into a prince. That\u2019s what happens when you … Continue reading “11. Parts ‘n Pieces \u2013 The Shadow: Why We Hate.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":208,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[11,27,28,26],"class_list":["post-206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-story","tag-carl-jung","tag-opposites","tag-projection","tag-shadow"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=206"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":302,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions\/302"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/208"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mesmarriahmiracle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}