Synchronicity – Mesmarriah Miracle

8. How Do You Know You Know Someone You’ve Never Met Before

So much of what we learn in Life can only be recognized by looking back, sometimes over years or decades. It’s actually very important to press Pause and look back occasionally. We get so lost in eyes-on-the-ground-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other-everyday-minutiae. We need the curiosity to look back over the years. Assess. Where have we been? Where have we come from? See how much we’ve come through. It’s sorta like heading up 30,000 feet in the air and taking a look-see—seeing the beauty of the patchwork quilt land below. Perspective. You can only get a Big Picture from Perspective. Perspective and Paying Attention.

Once awakened, I felt I was ‘tabula rasa,’ blank slate, for what was to happen next. Life continued to roll on in the day-to-day job, home, children, husband, friends. But something felt different. It made me all eyes and ears and heart and mind and feelings and anything else that would help supply data of what to do, what lay ahead, what might be expected of me. I laid any preconceived notions aside, wouldn’t formulate my feelings about beliefs until I collected data.

“Trying to give the living reality of the Self a constant amount of daily attention is like trying to live simultaneously on two levels or in two different worlds. One gives one’s mind, as before, to outer duties, but at the same time one remains alert for hints and signs, both in dreams and in external events, that the Self uses to symbolize its intentions – the direction in which the life stream is moving.” Carl Jung, “Man and His Symbols (MAHS) p. 212

So it is with Paying Attention and the Perspective gained by having lived and thought longer about all this, that I have garnered enough data to postulate several theories and/or beliefs, in my life, for my Life. All in the name of trying to understand just why a Creator wanted us human beings to be a propagated species, and what that Creator might have wanted from us as that species. It may feel like I’m jumping ahead of myself here, but this does tie in with The Catalyst.

Here are the Dots: Synchronistic events led me to The Catalyst who jolted me out of my life of being asleep. What made me suspect (and search to confirm) that this was not just a love affair but something more? Something intended just for me? What was I to do with this awakening? What was expected of me once I felt ‘awake?’ What made me feel compelled to find these answers and not just take the easy road and continue being asleep? It would be a challenge: the man or the mission. And what part was the prince to play once he had awakened me?

One foot in front of the other, one day after the next, one year, then another, I strove to get answers to the myriad of questions that populated my wondering life! I had the “Who?” the “Where? the “When,” even the “What?” But the peskiest of questions is “Why?” I needed the “Why?” Why did this prince find me and how was his kiss able to awaken me?

I was open-minded, open-eyed, open-hearted to what experience came my way. Tabula rasa. Once ‘open’ to the Call to look inside, finding your parts and pieces, doing the work to become whole, you sense you have tapped into some unnamed ether or Part of You that starts throwing breadcrumbs, sending signs and synchronicities, finding the right books, running into the right person, hearing the right words, et al. Where does that come from? How do all those things just ‘show up’ to lead you forward into the unknown?

The Schematic of Life

If you believe you have a soul and that it is eternal—well, you may not, so I’ll qualify that. I have researched and reached my own singular conclusion: I believe not just that we have a soul, but that we are soul; it is the eternal part of us. Therefore, it was ‘before’ and will be ‘after’ and ‘forever,’ right? I believe our soul already knows eternal things—before, during and after. It knows the future (and all possible futures).

Watching my life progress like a series of stepping stones after wakedom, I came to believe we come to this life with a plan, a schematic if you will, of what lessons we need to learn in this life, how to accomplish them with all of the possible gees and haws of free will to choose right or wrong.

It’s like your soul, the place of the unknown (or Unknown), knows which lessons you chose to learn this life, including but not limited to, all the possible-option-futures compounded in the choices you make at every moral decision-time.

In other words, each time you come to a decision, it’s a fork in the road. The decision you make takes you down one fork only. You have chosen one future over the other. The next decision is a fork, and the future that comes with that choice—which looks different from the future you would have had if you chose the other fork.

A new future, a new life at every decision you make. Your life—what you came here to learn, why you chose this particular set of circumstances, the souls you planned to meet and work with or work through—all have meaning. The ups, the downs, the mistakes, the misfortunes, the milestones, the good, the bad, and the boring—all are contained in the Schematic you designed—in the place you were before you were born and will be after you die. In the eternal, you have the wherewithal to know it all, plan it all, in every possible, simple-and-complex decision you will ever make, every future you can exponentially choose.

Oh, it’s not just me who extrapolated this way. Listen to this Dot that was dropped and I picked up on somewhere along the path:

“There’s a wonderful paper by Schopenhauer, called ‘An Apparent Intention of the Fate of the Individual,’ in which he points out that when you are a certain age—the age I am now—and look back over your life, it seems to be almost as orderly as a composed novel. And just as in Dickens’ novels, little accidental meetings and so forth turn out to be main features in the plot, so in your life. And what seem to have been mistakes at the time, turn out to be directive crises. And then he asks: ‘Who wrote this novel?’ Life seems as though it were planned… ” Conversations with Joseph Campbell “An Open Life” (Schopenhauer 1788-1860)

(Note the “—and look back over your life.” He pressed Pause.)

He even says it right there, “little accidental meetings (The Catalyst) and so forth turn out to be main features in the plot” and then, “Who wrote this novel?” It’s very easy for me to get from there to the conclusion of a Schematic. I also want to make it perfectly clear, I knew none of this when I took that first leap into the deep dark abyss. I want credit for that courage! I was following something that can only be described as some “inner” urging. And it’s not that I’m that special.

After accumulating more knowledge and understanding with more reading, more learning, more asking questions, I now believe we all have some inner urging to find our true Selves, not just play assigned roles our entire life. Hence, the Myth: the knights being called to search for the Holy Grail on their own paths.

Here’s another Dot that I recognized and put in my ‘pertinent pocket’ from the book a father wrote of his daughter’s descent into madness and his search in every nook and cranny for the mysterium that would bring her back.

Carl Jung has written about the importance of seemingly happenstance events in our lives. He called it synchronicity, implying that there is a logic and a destiny to such events, a hidden blueprint that derives from our own particular natures, or the force of the world around us, or perhaps from a supernatural power beyond human understanding. To the extent that our conscious choices move in harmony with this design, our lives find fulfillment. If this is so, there exists the possibility that the suffering and the joy, the defeats and the final victory, were all part of a highly personal yet supremely cosmic pattern that remains, and may always remain, a mystery.” Frederich Flach, M.D. in “Rickie”

Looking at life this way should give a certain reassurance. Certainly it paints a bigger picture to the minutiae. You can learn (sometimes hard) lessons without feeling sad, disillusioned, disappointed or bummed—knowing they are merely lessons that you chose to go through. You can sorta lean into them knowing you’re learning something…keep looking for that. What is the lesson? Keep heart, eyes, ears open. It’s your story; you already know the outcome—like a Perry Mason program where you know, you’ll win the case!

So when I asked, ‘How do you know you know someone you’ve never met before?’ It’s because your Life overlays with the Schematic you planned…

Have you ever met someone and immediately fell into link-step with them in practically every perfect way? You both remark, “It’s like I’ve always known you.” Well, you probably have always known them—you just don’t remember on this plane.

What about those people who say, “I always knew I was going to be a (fill-in-the-blank, singer, sculptor, scientist, et al) from the time I was real little.” And they became GREAT at it? Were they born to do that? How did they know?

Geniuses, prodigies in all the arts and sciences—can’t be all ‘nurture.’ Where did the ‘nature’ come from? Did they bring it with them in their soul? And if so, how did their soul get that much talent or intelligence?

It just seems that some people were born to do what they do (or did) in life. It’s like they planned it, or it was predestined. Read “A Prayer for Owen Meany.” Everything in the Schematic of his peculiar life was designed for just one life-saving cataclysm.

The goal of Life may be trying to align your decisions with the Schematic you designed—“Right Choosing.” Leaning into some unconscious directing for making the right decisions to learn the lessons you came here to learn—the good, the bad, the boring.

Have you ever Landed in a Plane Backwards?

If you are new to Mesmarriah Miracle, it is best to start at Post 1 and continue in numbered sequence, like connecting Dots.

6. The Catalyst – Part 1

It took me over five years of wondering and wandering to be led to find Carl Jung’s “Memories, Dreams and Reflections,” What had started that journey? I woke up, or more accurately, I was “awakened” by an encounter with another human being. It was a phenomenon that I’d been searching for an explanation for all those years. Jung’s bio was the first explanation of the process that was occurring in my normal human life. It also introduced me to his theory of synchronicity.

Here’s the thing: Just because I did not know what ‘synchronicity’ was, that did not mean it was not already occurring in my life. It’s sorta like, gravity was occurring in everyone’s life from Day One. It just took Newton to recognize it and name it! “Ah, yes, I think I shall call my discovery of the force that holds us to the earth, ‘gravity.’”

That’s what Carl Jung did. He recognized ‘synchronicity’ happening in people’s psychological lives. He saw that it had effects on their lives that helped or healed, and he named it!

I hadn’t heard about it, couldn’t name it, so it was only after I found Jung’s explanation that it hit me: “Synchronicity was what brought me smack dab into the path of The Catalyst that woke me up.” And here Jung was saying, “Synchronicity has meaning and purpose, meant just for you.”

I promised you a string, yes, string of synchronicities…Dot…Dot…Dot.

I worked for a music industry association that solicited memberships, and I was in charge of that department.
I read an announcement in an industry trade magazine that a specific company (across the country) made a change that now made them eligible for our membership. I dutifully sent a letter asking them, since they’d recently gained eligibility, wouldn’t they love to become a part of our association? (Yes, this was in the day we wrote and mailed letters.)
My boss saw the letter and pointed out with some irritation, “Why, this company is already a member and has been for a year.” What? How could they be—the magazine said they JUST now became eligible. She instructed me that I must write an apology letter post haste.
Before I wrote my apology, I read (in another industry magazine) that the person I’d addressed my letter to would be a speaker at a convention that I was also attending in Dallas. Coincidentally, (or should I say synchronistically?) I would be doing a presentation in the exact same workshop he would be speaking at. Perfect. I decided I’d just humble myself and make my apology in-person there. Face-to-face would be much more sincere than a letter, I felt.
I arrived at the convention, and with a certain amount of trepidation, made my way to the workshop room. I found the man and explained what I’d read in the industry magazine (as my excuse), and heartfeltly apologized face-to-face. He just laughed and said, “Oh, yeah, we put that letter up on the wall and threw darts at it.” End scene.
I made my membership solicitation presentation and returned to my room for the evening.
It was while whiling away my time in my room that some little voice, I swear, inside me kept running this statement through my head, “You need to get to know that person. You’ve got to get to know that person. If you don’t get to know that person, you’re gonna be mad at yourself.” It was just this silent thought, over and over, bugging me.
Being an introvert by nature, I don’t put myself out in people’s faces often—or ever. I wouldn’t deem to seek out a person I’d relatively insulted and humiliated myself in front of by not knowing they were already a member of my organization. I tried to ignore that repetitive thought running through my head, “you’ve got to get to know this person or you’re going to be mad at yourself.” (What did that even mean, ‘mad at yourself?’)
The next day, I really didn’t make any concerted effort in either looking for this person or to “get to know” this person. In the afternoon, the convention premiered a movie for us in the ballroom. After the movie, people were mingling in conversation groups around the ballroom. I was in one—this person ended up in another one close by. Now to note: there were over 2,000 people at this convention.
Occasionally he would comment from his conversation group to mine. I probably did likewise.
The hotel staff began the tear-down of the 2000 seats and movie screen/paraphernalia that had accommodated the movie. Eventually my conversation group, having conversed enough, began to dwindle away, presumably to get dressed up for the cocktail party on the agenda later that evening. His conversation group dwindled likewise. Unawares, it became just he and I. Talking. When next I became aware of my surroundings, an entire buffet of food and drink for 2000 had been set up around us (how long does that take???) and 2000 participants began remingling to partake of the goodies.
I didn’t have to follow my little voice telling me “you’ve got to get to know this person.” He found me. Did he have a little voice telling him the same thing?
He asked, “Are you married?” I said, “Yes.” I’d never seen nor met this man before, and yet I recognized him immediately.

We Are Living Our Myths

In just that one meeting, I began living the Sleeping Beauty myth.

Yes, because myth’s are the contents of (wo)(hu)man’s psyche, we live them in many recognizable ways. Myths came from us; they can be a roadmap for our living if we do the deep dive to understand the message we wove into them when we, ourselves, created the myths long long ago. Have you never wondered why ‘myths’ just stick around century after century? Clues. Roadmaps. Dots.

Every girl has heard the fable of “Sleeping Beauty” at an early age. It is the story of a doomed princess sleeping for 100 years who is kissed awake by the prince. Myth is metaphor. Looks like a fairy tale on the outside—an attraction that is felt with immediate and overwhelming alacrity. That’s just the facade. You have to delve to see what the message of the myth is. It is really ‘the Call.’ You have to recognize ‘the Call’ buried in the myth.

What is hidden in the Sleeping Beauty myth?

Awakening. That is the job of the prince in this particular myth—to kiss the princess ‘awake.’ The kiss is to awaken the princess back to Life. The call to awaken, for men and for women, can come in different ways. Sometimes it’s a catastrophic event in one’s life—a death of someone close—your own close call to death—a devastating change in your life’s plans—an illness or accident which forces you to totally re-form your life, or, in my case, a soul-deep love that hits like a bolt of lightning. There are many many ways that some Knowing Part of us issues forth the Call to ‘wake up.’

Wake up to the life you were supposed to live. Wake up to the big picture of why you are living. Wake up to a life of your own vs a life of living roles you learned to play to survive. So many of our myths have heralded these calls, wrapped them in dream-like images and sent them into forever…if we just decipher and heed their message.

Unbeknownst at the time, The Myth of Sleeping Beauty held ‘the Call’ for me. Kissed awake was the first step in finding my true Self.

In the myth, the prince represents the masculine principle that issues the Call for a woman, first to awaken to her own life, then to balance the feminine principle that the princess has been performing in her perfect-princess life-role. The feminine attributes of nurturing, caring, following all the rules, not getting angry, playing the perfect princess role—these all need to be integrated/wed with the masculine principle of standing on her own, having her own opinions, taking care of herself, speaking up for herself, upright, independent. That is what the ‘marriage’ of the prince and princess represents—the wedding of the masculine and the feminine. Whole is the goal…and two halves make a whole…the masculine and the feminine in every person. Just like in the myth, my Call began with a kiss.

I didn’t understand any of the real meaning to my immediate and complete attraction to this person at the time. Oh, no. Instead, I fell deep into the throes of being overwhelmed by the exact emotions and feelings evinced in that lovestruck fairy tale—heart-throbbing, head-over-heels. Didn’t know I’d just been kissed awake. Hadn’t had that “I-feel-like-I-just-woke-up-feeling” yet. No, this person felt like the end-all-be-all! Being human, not realizing my wakedom yet, I had no hint of this being an inner call. It just felt like a dang strong pull, outward, to the physical.

You might remember I posted a warning earlier? “Don’t be fooled into thinking the outward appearance is the end-all-be-all?” Sorry to say, I hadn’t learned that yet. I had heard the little internal voice telling me, “you’ve got to get to know this person or you’re going to be mad at yourself” before, but had not really acted upon it. Would there be a teeny tinier whisper of a voice inside trying to get through: “Is there more to this than what lies outward? Could there be a reason other than this physical soulfelt attraction?”

Remember, up to this encounter, I’d been asleep for 100 years—well, not quite as long as the fairy tale, but perhaps since birth, or perhaps since at some age, I took on the princess role that was expected of me. When you’re in the throes of physical, emotional, heart and soul attraction, can teeny tiny inward voices even be heard? Apparently some (eternal?) piece of me was awake just enough to plant the seed of that question.

I did not squash the question back down into my unconscious (an even darker, bloodier room—another myth we’ll get to). I let the question whisper to me, ‘is there more to this than just the man?’ I honored it by being quiet, listening, and feeling, because from somewhere in the deep came some quiet little ‘knowing’ that there was another reason we had met. I intuited that finding that reason might be long, drawn-out work. ‘Long, drawn-out, and unknown’ up against this feeling of immediate cosmic attraction! This was not a flip-the-switch-or-coin decision. It is not an easy task to be truly honest with yourself and choose accordingly. You bargain: Could it be both? The work and the man?

Waking Up Is So Very Hard to Do.

The Catalyst – Part 2

5. Synchronicity Dropping Dots.

When you wake up to Life, you’re looking for any breadcrumbs that might give you a clue. You are for all practical purposes in a foreign land and making your way forward as best you can on sheer curiosity and stamina and determination. You have questions, lots of questions and looking hard for some answers. While ‘living some distant day into the answer’ may be comforting, it is hardly a boon for patience!

You wait. You go with the flow. You let time pass which is required to prove your patience. Your energy is directed forward, and energy put forth creates. All of a sudden, you’re rewarded with a leg-up, a fast forward, an ‘aha’ moment that sends your entire energy system into hyperdrive!

Finding Synchronicity Synchronistically.

I can’t show a montage of pictures to indicate “time passes” like they do in movies, but time had been and was passing. Somewhere between five and seven years since I ran into The Catalyst that jolted me out of being asleep. I’d skipped through the music industry, hit a lick in television production. By this time, I had ‘flowed’ into being a writer by occupation–albeit marketing/advertising–but I was realizing I could write. Part of me even felt in all the repetitious projects, I was obediently doing my “sums” or “times tables.” Rote. Writing dust jacket flap and back cover copy for a national publisher was teaching me to take a lump of clay, shape and mold it into a piece of art capable enough to sell a book. Again and again. Lump. Art. Rote.

Being freelance, I had a certain control over my own time. As long as I met deadlines, sure, I could take some time off.

It was a sunny day, with no deadlines looming, so I packed my ever-present notebook and pen, some books, and a bite to eat for a leisurely drive down The Natchez Trace to revive spirit and soul. Fifty miles per hour limit, shady, curvy, hilly, lovely overlooks. I stopped here for an overlook, there for an historic marker, ending up at Meriwether Lewis Death and Burial Site. Yes, that Meriwether Lewis of Lewis and Clark, the adventurers who mapped out this virgin and unknown land.

I read. I wrote. I sat under a big tree beside the flat markers of the Pioneer Cemetery there. I toured the grounds, read the intriguing but brief signs indicating that while Lewis was killed at this place, it was uncertain as to the circumstances—intruder/murder or suicide? I’m not sure why I was so fascinated with the ambiguity and mystery of his death at this place, but it was such that I vowed I was going to get more details and draw my own conclusion.

Upon my return to civilization, I went immediately to the library (yes, this was in the day of the library and I was into Books). To the Biography Section (in alphabetical order by subject). Here’s the default setting of a book lover: if you’re gonna get one book in the L’s for Lewis, why not one in the J’s for James Joyce and, what the heck, here’s a name I’ve heard somewhere before here in the J’s, Carl G. Jung.

I made short shrift of James Joyce—he was just too far out for me to identify with his life whatsoever. I didn’t even bother to finish that book.

I formed my own opinion about Meriwether Lewis’ death after reading his bio—murder, not suicide. A couple of reasons. First, The Trace was a boon to highway robbers as it was the way home by land for men who had floated their crops down the Mississippi to sell and they were carrying cash. Second, Lewis was a mere 34 years old and headed back to Philadelphia to edit a book on his great expedition; I felt no one with as adventurous a spirit as he exhibited would have taken his own life as was hinted at in those oblique signs posted at the park.

Then came time for the Jung book, Memories, Dreams and Reflections. (Did I instinctively save the best for last?) It was the next turning point in my life, a whole loaf of bread, forget the crumbs! It was a lighted beacon in my stumbling, asking-questions darkness. In today’s vernacular—“OMG!” In the vernacular of that day, all I could utter was ”This man’s been readin’ my mail.”

The things he wrote about were delineating what I’d been experiencing since “I woke up.” It was more than just confirmation and validation. He gave me the “Why” that I so desperately craved. I would read a passage—“yes!’—and get up and run around the house to expend the excited energy that was pulsing through me! In my journal, I noted: “…reading his bio was exhilarating; I kept saying, ‘wonderful,’ ‘wondrous,’ ‘thank you’ because it was so re-affirming to me.” I had lived some distant day into an answer—answers, in fact! I was getting lots of clues, answers, reaffirmations, validations, new information—check check check! Fast forward propulsion! Hyperdrive!

Connecting the Dots:

If I hadn’t laid out from writing assignments to take a day off; if I hadn’t ended up at Meriwether Lewis Park on my drive; if I hadn’t stopped, got out, walked the park; if I hadn’t been intrigued enough by Lewis’ death to go to a library and get a book not only about him but, what the heck, how about some guy named Carl Jung; and then that book telling me about EVERYTHING that had been happening to me in my new “awakened” state (in the past five years)…

I’m sorry, but that just does not happen by accident, now, does it?

That’s called Synchronicity. Incarnate.

Think of it—finding answers I was seeking for years…in a book…because I went to a park and was curious about Meriwether Lewis. There’s no cause and effect. Synchronicity—two things linked with no common causality.

Synchronicity Marks the Dots for You.

Synchronicity, or meaningful coincidence as some timid people are wont to call it, is a flaming coincidence that even you can’t ignore–and it has a message, a meaning, especially for you. If you recognize Synchronicity occuring in your life, stop and ask: what is it underscoring for me? Something here has meaning and importance. What am I to see? Of further mention here: Synchronicity seems to become more prevalent when you ‘wake up’ and start ‘seeking’ or asking your questions of Life. Or, maybe it’s just because you are now ‘awake’ and noticing it.

First, synchronicities are only seen by those with wide-open eyes that see and only heard with ears that hear (that’s biblical!) Second, you have a feeling like it’s a connection with some unseen helper who’s in on the journey with you. Third, it’s like an underscore—you know, like when you underscore or highlight a passage that has meaning and significance to you? That you want to remember. It may give you new information on your Life, that “aha!” moment, a light-bulb going on. Many times it reinforces something you just learned about yourself, an affirmation, so-to-speak, that you got it right and are headed in the right direction. But it always makes you feel connected to something bigger, something benevolent that’s laying down a few breadcrumbs for you to follow on your way to safety. When you experience Synchronicity in your life, look around. There’s a Dot dropping somewhere!

If it hadn’t been for a string, yes, string, I tell you, of synchronicities,

I would never have met The Catalyst that woke me up.

If you’re new to Mesmarriah Miracle, it’s best to start at Post #1 and

continue in numbered sequence, like Connecting the Dots.