Parts ‘n Pieces. I’m not sure where I picked up that phrase. Feels like it was in a commercial from years ago, where some chicken sandwich purveyor was slamming some other chicken sandwich purveyor’s chicken as ‘parts ‘n pieces.’ That ring a bell? But it has the alliteration I am drawn to, so it fell into the ‘pertinent-pile.’ It fits when you’re talking about becoming the whole you. Gotta put together the parts ‘n pieces.
Jung lived what would become his Psychology of Individuation. He was his own beta test. I guess if I hadn’t read about Jung living through all that I was experiencing, I probably would have written off my circumstances as there being ‘something wrong with me.’ I was just odd, imagining things, seeing coincidences as pertinent, thinking I was getting some sort of voices, guidance from…where?? Following them and finding more synchronicities to lead me yet further.
But something felt right. Something made me feel that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. You remember those little rolling toys you pulled along with a string? Yeah, that was the feeling sometimes. Life-changing decisions came up—I’d feel there was a forward pull to one answer—(usually) NOT the easy answer. Answers that were right for me felt wrong to others. No wonder my friends wanted to brush me off with a superficial piece of advice!
If you’ve been a good princess, i.e. female, you are familiar with sacrifice; it comes as a default in your original factory settings. It’s hard to make the right decisions for yourself if someone tells you it’s wrong for them. Or if they hurl the label, “Selfish” at you. This is where those balancing masculine attributes are utilized, to stand up for yourself, make your own decisions, do what is best for you. Sure, there were also other times I just felt totally alone in that dark forest…and I survived. I would come to learn that’s all about opposites and balance (we’ll get to).
On to the parts ‘n pieces—the Persona, the Shadow, the Anima/Animus.
Persona vs Ego, Round 1
The Persona is probably the first to be reckoned with as it is pretty well controlled by the ego. Remember: the ego has to relinquish control to that inner leading.That little ‘knowing’ that something bigger is afoot here…growth…wholeness…the Self. While ego wants you to feel like it’s the boss of you, in actuality, ego is but a very small part of the total psyche, the Self…it just wants to feel BIG.
Persona is the Latin word for “mask.” Your Persona is the ‘face’ you present to other people, how you want to be seen or perceived. How you ‘clothe’ yourself. Many times it does not necessarily match up with what your private life and feelings may be like.
I’ve likened the Persona to the need to identify yourself by the job you have, the house you own, the part of town you live in, the car you drive, the labels you wear, the clubs you join, the school you went to, the friends you have with ‘names’ you can drop, the letters behind your name. It’s that outer image that you want to ‘sell’ to everyone else, no matter what moss and mildew may grow underneath. In dreams, it is many times represented by ‘apparel’ or “outer” clothing. That’s why we ‘buy stuff.’ We need to feed and clothe the outer image, the Persona.
What does becoming whole require of the Persona? If you are measuring your worth by your need to ‘be seen’ as a specific image, here’s another closed eye exercise. Close your eyes and imagine yourself if all that were stripped from you. All of it gone. No great job. No labels on your clothing. No latest car or toy. No friends to define your status. Do you still see you surviving? Would you be able to pick yourself up and function and feel good about yourself? If you feel a shudder and panic, yeah, it’s time to take a look on the inside and fortify! In the words of Van Halen…Jump!
This is a hard one to deal with because you think (or more than likely the ego inserts), ‘what will I have if I don’t have those things?’ ‘Will people even still like me?’ Well, that’s what the whole process is about. Getting something on the inside that is far more valuable than what is on the outside. Something BIGGER! Something more connected.
The Persona wasn’t a high hurdle for me. I didn’t have a degree to wear, no initials after my name. Had a pretty good work ethic, which was usually recognized, so didn’t have to strut to be noticed. Lord knows I couldn’t claim Persona with the clothes I wore! Not a designer label in there, unless it was one from Sam’s. Until I was 35 and worked with a Child and Family Services counsellor, didn’t have much self-esteem, so a Persona would have been an upgrade for me! No self-esteem probably also meant I didn’t have much ego to wrest control from. So, Persona was a borderline ‘gimme’ for me, already under control.
But for some people, not being ‘seen’ as the Persona can seem almost unthinkable and unconquerable. That’s when courage comes in. Remember: “Jump; it is not as wide as you think.”
Next: The Shadow—Why We Hate.