Before you know it, you’ll be quoting the line, “You just need another mule in the traces with you for a while.” You just have to understand it to know how and when to whip it out! It just takes listening.
I’ve mentioned “mule in the traces with you” a couple of times (Post 2, Post 17). Well, here’s how that lodged in my ‘pertinent pocket’ and has been pulled out to use time and time again.
I always like to give proper credit for any stories I share, so…back in the wayback, Steve was an insurance guy I dated for a while. He knew how to diagnose and/or fix my car if there were problems, changed the oil, prided himself on being a helper, besides a great insurance salesman. So when I’d complain about my life or get discouraged or disappointed—which, have you noticed, I’m prone to do?–he’d be there with encouragement, oft times with a story. Parables for those in need, I’d say. A couple of his ‘stories’ were pertinent-pocket worthy and have been thusly retained.
Clinch Mountain Mules
I’m sure Steve pulled out his little parables when I’d be in one of my ‘woe-is-me’, my life sucks, gritching mode (Post 17). On this occasion, he asked me if I’d ever heard of the Clinch Mountain mules. I admitted I hadn’t, so Steve explained that Clinch Mountain is over in the Appalachian Mountains in Tennessee and Virginia. The farmers farm the mountain with Clinch Mountain mules, a particular species of mules that have one side of their legs shorter and the other side longer so they could plow around the side of the mountain.
(Pause.) I fell for it! For a second…and was trying to figure out if they always had to go the same way around!
Started to…but didn’t. No, I didn’t fall for that. So he got serious.
The Clinch Mountain mules were special in that they always plowed all by themselves, one single mule in the traces all day long, day after day, week after week, season after season, working solo. But…every now and then they’d get tired and could not (or would not) work any more by themselves. So the wise mountain farmers knew all they had to do was bring another Clinch Mountain mule and hook it into the traces with the first Clinch Mountain mule, and off they’d go, pulling and plowing together for a while. But just for a while. Then the farmers could separate them and they’d plow happily alone for another space of time. I’m sure Steve was thinking of himself as being a Clinch Mountain mule pulling in the traces with me for a while. I sorta doubt he would ever have thought he would provide me with a parable for the ages.
We All Need Another Mule in the Traces with Us from Time to Time.
As humans who try to do it all, do it right, many of us “pull” alone for long periods of time until we feel we just can’t ‘pull’ anymore. And that’s the time, “You just need another mule in the traces with you for a while.”
It works. Just someone to work or think or do along side you renews strength and spirit. Short period of time; doesn’t have to be forever. Combine energies long enough til you feel steady and strong to pull some more through life.
I have pulled this phrase and explanation out of my ‘pertinent pocket’ many many times as I hear women lament their tiredness. I understand women’s tiredness. (My truism is that you can’t have empathy without first the experience.) I’ve lived women’s tiredness to write:
Prime the Pump
Sometimes I feel like a well
That everyone comes to dip from
And then go away.
A comforting drink of cool water
Pull long from it
Refresh
Cleanse
And then leave the well
Alone
To find its own way
To replenish itself.
Doesn’t Take Much to Be a Clinch Mountain Mule.
Kim M. was one of the clients I had when I was a freelance writer. She did the marketing for a company that sold industrial uniforms. She and I got along really well, worked together great.
I was working on a project for her and had called her with an update. She confided she was immobilized at her home. She was overwrought because she and her husband were being “interviewed and reviewed” the next day to adopt a specific child, one whose need was so personal and prolific, she felt frozen, unable to do anything. The fear of not making the grade and not being approved to adopt the child had her petrified physically and emotionally. She said she just couldn’t move to do anything even though she knew she needed to move, clean her house, prepare—but she was stuck.
And out came, “All you need is another mule in the traces with you. I’m caught up on my writing deadlines…I’m gonna come over and help you clean up the house and get prepped for your interview tomorrow.” And I did. That’s all it took; another human being in the traces to plow along side her for a little while. She got unstuck and could move. She and her husband passed their review and adopted the little girl.
I’ve used that phrase and explained about the Clinch Mountain Mules many times to people who seem temporarily swamped in the boat of life. Grateful to report that there have been people who have gotten in the traces with me when plowing through life had me tried and tired. Proud to say I’ve been a Clinch Mountain Mule and harnessed myself up for a pull with different people over the years.
Through the Fire Twice
Apparently I might have complained and whined about my lot in life at the time I knew Steve! One time he pulled out this little parable of the Tempered Sword, “To temper a sword to make it stainless and strong, it has to be put through the fire twice,” he said. And he assured me that’s just what was happening. I was being put through the fire once again to make me stronger. That little story tweaked the way I was looking at things, gave me the hint that there may be a raison d’etre for what was happening to me. Could I see my situation as an opportunity to learn something from it? Shore up my strength as a result? Be more aware that there may be a reason for my being? That little parable? Yep, I retained that story, too.
You know, I deeply appreciate Steve and his stories which apparently were comforting and edifying to me at that time. I’m not sure where he learned his parables or how he learned to apply them. But, hey, teachers come in all configs. I’m not gonna look a gift mule in the mouth. I am grateful and thankful to Steve wherever he may be.
(There’s also a saying my grandma used to use…about ‘working someone like a borrowed mule.’ But that’s a whole different mule moral!)